Halloween Soon

A man is walking home alone

late one foggy night...

When behind him 

he hears:

BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back, 

and through the fog

he makes out the image

of an upright casket

banging its way 

down the street

toward him.

BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run

toward his home, 

the casket bouncing quickly

behind him. 


FASTER,


FASTER,


BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...

He runs up to his door,

fumbles with his keys, 

rushes in,

slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door

with the lid of the casket clapping

CLAPPITY-BUMP...


CLAPPITY-BUMP...


CLAPPITY-BUMP...

On his heels,

the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom,

the man locks himself in.

His heart is pounding; 

his head is reeling;

His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH, 

THE CASKET BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something,

anything,

but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup.

Desperate, he throws the bottle of cough syrup at the casket.

And,

the coffin stops.


(Get it?) (Are you laughing yet?)