For The New Yorkers

It's Mike's first day on the job as a bartender.

As he serves a customer a Manhattan, a piece of parsley falls into the drink.

"What the hell is that?" the customer asked.

"It's your Manhattan, and there's Central Park."

You're welcome.

Another Enjoyable Holiday

Adopting the seniors for my surrogate family has filled a void. Having brothers and sisters my age and older who understand the aches and pains of getting older is a relief.  I don't have to ask someone to help with something; people are watching out for each other and doing things for each other like a loving family. These are some photos from our senior Christmas luncheon.

Merry Christmas to all the dear, loving, sweet, encouraging blog friends and your families. I am blessed to know you and grateful for the wisdom and viewpoints you share with me.

Happy Cat

My mother sent me a newspaper clipping of this story:

A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and then said "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would really like a fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that he made to the cat.

The mice said "We have had to run all of our lives; from cats, dogs, people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered "It is done."

All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals on wheels you have been sending me are delicious!"

Participating More

The director of the senior center encouraged me to attend the free yoga classes at the center. Man oh man. I haven't felt relaxed like that in a long time. I am a regular now. Early mornings each Wednesday. Perfect time. I did some relaxation exercises at home in the evening too and plan on making that part of my evenings. Staying flexible and breathing well is just what I have needed.

Were You Ever Envious Of TechnoBabe?

That was a waste of energy. It's my fault for leaving comments from my seat of wisdom and experience.

In the previous blog, I was gushing about the love and sweet life I lived with my husband. I failed to mention the fact that he has bipolar disorder. Do you know anyone with bipolar disorder? Are you living with someone with bipolar disorder?

This new blog is intended to be one of the cleansing tools for me. I won't be writing about bipolar disorder. I am trying to put everything associated with bipolar disorder behind me. The mania is just too enticing for someone with bipolar disorder and too painful for the loved ones.

In TechnoBabe's Adventures I was writing from the top of the world, not realizing I had so much more to learn.  The bubble can burst and ooze slime all over a life in a nanosecond.

I wrote a quick farewell post on TechnoBabe's Adventures, and have not been back to read any of it. That woman and that life ended. It was a great ride while it lasted.

I see the irony now of my writing such overenthusiastic posts about the love I found and how much it meant to me. Now I begin at square one and will be examining what love means to me, why I think I want it in my life, and ever so cautiously test the waters. Trust will forever be an issue for me now. I will not expect myself to be able to trust, but I can have friends with flaws who accept my limitations. I think that is about as much as any of us can hope for. 

Green eyed photo found on Google.

Who Will I Find To Fit In With

My whole life was spent trying to fit in by doing things I didn't even like, just to be part of something. I did not like drinking; I drank but just enough to fit in with the people I hung out with. I truly disliked the taste. I waited until my thirties to experiment with marijuana. After two years trying it occasionally, I removed it from my life. I smoked cigarettes because my first husband smoked and then one day in 1986 I asked myself what the hell was I doing, I did not like the taste. See, taste again. My senses have been trying to make me aware of what is good for me and in a stupor I stumbled along to fit in.

Then in 1985 I met a guy who was so much like me. He did not watch TV, he did not smoke, he used his computer for information, he was a voracious reader, he didn't just enjoy music as I did, he composed music. I found my home. As the years progressed, we found more things in common. And the latest change was to kick wheat out of our lives.

And then it was all over in an instant. The second he made love to his mania instead of me, he left me, left our marriage, and eventually left our home and found a new life with few, if any, responsibilities. We are now nothing alike. I still have standards and have worked hard to be a strong, loving, clear thinking woman. I believe in being faithful and honorable and truthful and I know I am able to be these things and still be fun loving and young at heart.

So now I stand naked in front of my mirror (so to speak) and ask, how did I get back to this place? I am different; I don't watch TV, I don't do facebook or twitter, I don't drink or do drugs, and I don't eat anything with wheat or grains in it. Do I sound dull? No fun? I am a fairly serious person but I so enjoy humor and laughter.

There has to be a reason I am still in this body on this earth in this situation. There must be more to learn and much I can contribute. If this sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself, that is a small part of it. I have always been able to get through the rough times, learn what I can from them, re-evaluate my situation, and move forward with an open mind and willing heart. I will not become a bitter, frosty, isolated older woman. I accept who I am, I like who I am, I don't have to fit like a glove in the community; I fit like a loose jacket in the community and comfortable in my own skin.

Good enough.

Graphic found on Google.

Things Are Improving

The day my husband packed his belongings and carried it all to his car, I helped find the things he wanted and stacked the items on the counter for him to pack. We were both silent. I brought him the hair dryer and gave him the coffee bean grinder. I was still thinking of his comfort and wanted him to be in a good place.

We bought coffee beans and ground a few days worth, so I was able to finish the ground coffee on the day the new coffee bean grinder was delivered to me from Amazon. Good timing, wasn't it?

I would turn on the heater and kneel over the bathroom heater vent to dry my hair. My social security checks are deposited into my bank account the second Wed of the month so I was waiting until then to order a new hair dryer.

At the senior center, I put out a request to the group for  a used bulletin board. Someone had an extra one and donated it, so it was installed on the wall over the coffee pot area. One of the things I used the board for was a place where we seniors can write something we want/need and also a section to write things that someone has to pass along to someone who wants it. I put the hair dryer on the list next to my name.

Yesterday when I finished the yoga class at the senior center, the director of the center told me she would like to speak to me in her office. I followed her into her office and she reached into a bag and handed me a brand new hair dryer in the box. One of the women had given money to the director, asking her to purchase a hair dryer for me. I was flabbergasted . I used the hair dryer today. No more damp hair as I head out in the cold air. Things are improving.