Fair Weather Friends

None of my friends are like this, however. They would hold me back and keep me from jumping off the bridge. Some of them have done things like that for me a few times; kept me from jumping off the bridge. Thank you, dear friends.

Grooming

One of my friends is a Mary Kay consultant. She is committed to giving 30 facials in 30 days so another friend and I volunteered. They came to my place for an afternoon of girls' grooming.

I will let anyone clean my face and apply makeup. Well, maybe not exactly anyone.

Repaired Fences

Do my fences need mending? For three years I have been sweating and beating my breast doing the mental and emotional work required in my recovery. From codependency. Add depression to the mix, and throw in disassociation with a smidgen of PTSD. Many times something would push my buttons and BAM I would react and then have to backtrack and swing around to reach the tools I selected in therapy and with my sponsor in CoDA.

Instead of using fences to hide behind, or looking through the slats to hidden truth, I am learning to mend my hurts, stand up tall, WD40 the squeak in the gate, and walk through the gate and face people instead of hiding behind the fence. The fence is not mended completely yet, it is used as a backdrop for flowers and angel statues, not a barrier between me and fear of more pain. So the fence is stronger.

I still have fear and anger but more and more manageable. Trusting myself to react wisely when I get hurt or frightened, I am able to learn to trust others a little more each day. This in itself is a huge change. Just think, I spent all my life distrusting, holding back, running away. It was just the way I was, and I did not even see it as destructive. The behavior learned at a very young age that helped me survive became a way of life. Releasing the tight hold on the safety strap that was actually choking me as an adult, has freed me to feel. I am awakening to choices, and being able to make them. Based on what I feel. What I need. Me. My choice.

Today is my birthday. Another year of learning and dealing with disappointments and change. Today I am at peace and content with my life. I wish the same for you.

Tea Time

My friend R.J. wrote about her experience with tea on her blog R.J's Place the other day. It was an interesting post and reminded me how much I like tea too. Or is it tea for two?

One of my favorite things to do is enjoy high tea. Part of what makes it special is that I can count on one hand the number of times I have been to high tea, well, two hands at the most.

Is there such a thing as low tea? I have been to smaller places that have a miniature version of high tea. I wonder if that counts?

Anyway, I think my kids got to know my attraction to tea parties when they were wee ones and we had tea time almost every day. Nice tray, tea pot, creamer and sugar bowl, tiny "sammiches", cloth napkins, and cookies. The most important part of this family ritual was the socializing. My son was so shy and my daughters were not, so our tea time was a way for all of us to talk. It didn't happen right away; there were great lulls in the discussions, but gradually they began to learn the art of conversation. Part of that lesson was to learn to listen. Really hear what someone else said, watch their facial expressions, hand gestures, changes in voice.

So it was not a surprise that Mothers Day celebrations were family events that my grown children and then grandchildren arranged at the best places in San Diego that specialized in high tea.

My brother and sister-in-law and I enjoyed high tea in British Columbia at the Fairmont Empress. I also indulged in high tea at the Ritz in London.

Photo courtesy of deviant art.

Living in the this small town has me thinking of the things that I have experienced. I am so grateful for them. There are such great memories of travels and sights. But I am content to live a quiet life here, make friends, enjoy simple activities, be part of a community.

Hey, I wonder if my new friends would like to host high tea at the senior center sometime. Hmmm. Scones, cucumber sandwiches, dainty cookies and candies, herb teas. Maybe we would start a new tradition in town.

Describe A Good Neighbor

What is your idea of a "good neighbor"?

Someone who waves over the back fence?

A neighborhood watch hawk?

A stranger you know by sight only?

A friendly person bearing home baked gifts and a smile to welcome you when you move into the new place?

A party couple hosting loud parties each weekend with the whole neighborhood invited?

People who have gardeners arriving at the crack of dawn to mow, eat the weeds, blow away any leaves, trim hedges with gas clippers?

A person friendly enough to knock on your door just about every week to ask to borrow something?

A person who knocks on the door to see if you are all right when they don't see you for a few days?

More importantly, What kind of neighbor are you?

My Heart's Desire

"Theirs is the stoneless fruit of love
Whose love is returned."


--------Tiruvalluvar, The Kural (one of the most important forms of classical Tamil poetry)


I desire stoneless fruit. Not the kind in the the bowl.

Do you?

Do You Live By The Three RRRs?

Respect For Self.


Respect For Others.


Responsibility For All Your Actions.