PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5.. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target..
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
My good friend in Reno sent this to me in an email.
Some of these are right on and some are just funny.
I like them all... whatever it is they're called!
ReplyDeleteThese are good and show some creative thinking.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't read these on your blog but could read them in Reader. They are black letters on a dark background, different from your normal white letters. Anyway, you might figure I've heard that parachute one before. Pretty funny! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love these, I'm often a fan or dark/snarky humor
ReplyDeleteMs A, Isn't that a crazy word?
ReplyDeleteJeanie, I like most of these, but some not so much.
DJan, I almost added a sentence after the parachute one just for you! I knew you would spy that one right away.
There are some great ones there - I think 14 is my favourite, largely because I still have hair and a waist! :-)
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of the term parapro-blah-blah... but these are great! Thanks for sharing them, I'm going to e-mail them to my husband's "work station" right now!
ReplyDeleteI've never heard that term before, but I sure do like these!
ReplyDeleteThose are fun, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny, I have to steal it. I hope you don't mind sharing. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteVery quotable!! I will use some of these!!!
ReplyDeleteThough I never heard of that name, I loved all these sayings you posted! Good choices!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know the word for it before coming here, thanks. :)
ReplyDeletegood one liners - I might steal a few.
ReplyDeletehaha these are awesome...i am jotting a few down to use later...lol
ReplyDeleteOh these are fun. I especially like #4. ;)
ReplyDelete