Some things in life are like second hand smoke: Dangerous, Addictive, A waste of money, Invades my space, Harmful, Disenchanting, Changes the home atmosphere to a disagreeable and unpleasant smell.
The only way to disinfect the atmosphere and restore healthy air and safe heart is to remove the irritant. Just putting out the cigarette is not enough. Removing the smoker is the only way to restore sanity and serenity.
I have realized that two months is my limit. If I can see an end to something that is a constant stressful situation, I am able to draw on my patience and understanding but only for so long. For me, it is two months. After two months of interrupted rest, emotional struggles, static atmosphere, lack of stability, and fear, I have to do things to restore my safe little world. I cannot share that with anyone or anything that destroys my peace and dictates the atmosphere and controls my environment.
What does it say about a relationship that someone would turn on someone if they will not buy that person one more pack of cigarettes. Addictions are mind altering and cruel.
Photo found on Google.
15 comments:
Cici, what is going on? You're starting to worry me. I'm here if you need to talk, or vent, or scream. I'm a good listener.
Removing the source of irritation is good and well.... I've asked my housemate what he thought of this if he got a lover who smoked or drink. Ih he hates smokers and drinkers so much, would you break up with the love of your life?
My housemate said no, I would make my lover change or just stay away when the smoking resumes. Why would I break up if I know there is so much love left?
He said that. And I typed it here because I honestly have no answer of my own.
Ms.A, sorry to worry you. I am doing well, went through a difficult time but am healing. Thanks for asking.
Shadowthorne, tell your roommate smoking was only one of the changes. If the person becomes a stranger you would never have fallen in love with in the first place, and will not change, what he do then.
We cannot change others, really, only ourselves. The illusion that if only the person we loved would stop smoking and everything would be fine is just that: an illusion. Resentment and anger would poison the air just as the smoke once did.
That's my opinion, anyway. I am keeping you in my thoughts and thinking good things about you, surrounding you with light.
Hi DJan, hoping to change another person is a waste of time and energy. You are so right about resentment and anger being a poison. I have gone through the anger and am smiling again. Thanks for your kind thoughts.
Cici, the reason I couldn't give you that answer was that I understand what you mean. It is hard to see someone you love changes, not for the better and it will take a lot of effort just to cope, not only love said person.
But I believe you are on the mend, right?
History is best left behind, some would say. A lot of anger and disappointment bottled is not good.
I know that; because I am an angry person and was frequently disappointed.
And I will tell my housemate what you said :)
I agree with you 100% and you already know that.
you have to take care of your own health and happiness. Stand up for yourself and be strong and know that you have lots and lots of positive support. Love you!
....oh and I just had another REVELATION from your comment and DJan's.
You are both right, it is VERY HARD to change the nature of someone. I SHOULD know this as I am a teacher.
Maybe I thought I believe they would change because of me...
Now I grasped something I refused to see long ago. People don't change unless thay HAD to...
Thanks a lot mesdames! (I really mean this)
Susan, thanks for the loving comment. Each day is better. You are a blessing in my life.
Shadowthorne, individuals do not change unless they want to. I am like that too; the changes I make are because I know they are what is right for me. For my best health. I am glad you have a better understanding because of this discussion.
I see the analogy and under the circumstances your two months is generous. After that it is probable that the much wanted change will not take place.
On the just smoking level. I managed to quit 40 years ago from 40 a day to zero. The hardest thing I ever did and the reason I did not go back to smoking was that I doubted if I would be strong enough to give it up again.
Take care CiCi and loads of hugs ~ Eddie x
Hi Eddie, two months is long enough. Good for you to make the difficult decision to stop smoking and to be able to keep the promise to yourself to keep them out of your life. I stopped smoking 25 years ago. We were raised on tobacco back then without the knowledge of how deadly it is. Thanks for the great comment.
I totally agree. The cloud of poison can just get thicker and thicker if it's not stopped. We have to take a stand to do what's best for us first.
It wasn't easy but maybe not as hard as it for some but I'm very thankful that my wife insisted that I stop smoking many years ago. You know this stuff better than me. It's different for each person - right?
I'm glad you have the strength to know what's right for yourself. That's the best way to fight a toxic environment. Hugs to you, CiCi.
Sounds like you made a decision to take care of yourself. Good for you.
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