Over on the blog Weekend-Windup, I found a great post with a list I will be printing out and saving.
This should be a monthly reminder for our finite minds, at least, speaking for myself, I am constantly working on improving all aspects of my being, so this great list will be a help with my growth and learning.
The title of the post is Constructive Principles For Peace Of Mind. That is something I am searching for each day: Peace of Mind.
The first thing on the list is "Do not get into others' business, unless called for help." After years of work in Codependents Anonymous, I finally understand and appreciate this concept. I have to remind myself often when someone is sharing a problem with me, that unless they ask for advice, I am a good friend to listen and just "be there" for them, just as I want the same thing from them. If they want my expert advice, Ha, they will say so.
Even worse is unsolicited advice, when we see someone saying or doing something we think we should advise on because we are so knowledgeable. A good lesson in life has been to learn to mind my own business. And actually, it is a relief not to have to take care of everyone else. I listen to my grown children and sympathize and enjoy their own growth and success and disappointments, but it is not about me and not my business.
It is not cold, it is the opposite, it is loving and caring in a mature way to stay out of others' business.
I will be writing posts in the future about some of the other items on the list in this great post. Check out the blog Weekend-Windup. I'm glad I did.
10 comments:
I would have a heck of a hard time staying out of my (grown) kids business, especially when I disagree with them. If they always made sane, rational decisions, I don't think I would have a problem staying quiet.
That's an interesting website, CiCi. I see the person who created it has written two more since that one, and I explored the links and cannot even figure out whether the poster is male or female, much less the name or place this person lives. It is indeed a good post.
I agree with the idea of not interfering in other people's lives and learning to listen. I had to do that with my guy, and now I do it with others, too.
That is a great start for a list on maintaining peace of mind. I will check out the post and look forward to what you have to say about the rest of the list.
I'll be sure to check it out.
Ahhh...this post is awesome! Just what I needed right now. Thank you!
oh for sure...we can fill ourselves with such strife by getting in to things we have no business messing in....smiles.
I so agree. I have a particular aversion to the word "should." I cringe when someone uses it towards me, I try not to use it towards myself, and I can't remember the last time I used it towards someone else.
Great post, you're right. As you know, I'm working on improving myself and my attitude in general. I have bookmarked that post for future reference.
An interesting post - What a positive way to loving and sharing!
I began attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings in my early 20's. The First step (powerlessness) had an incredible impact upon me--I was so ready to let go of responsibility for other people's problems. I sometimes joke that my mom woke up in the morning and looked at my dad to see what kind of mood she was in that day; I'm glad she's been able to live freely without him.
I'm also happy for you; it's great to be free!
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