"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one. "
~John Lennon

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Still Living on California Time

Three and a half years ago I was still in California, working at a job I knew was not good for me. I was working with a sponsor in a twelve step program in codependency. The lessons I was learning and the growth were hindered by the caustic atmosphere of the job. No need to go into it in detail, but it became clear that one year at that job working around the deceit and negativity was harmful to me. I needed to change jobs.

Better than a job change was a move from California to Nebraska. At the time I did not realize how the stressful situations in California affected me on a daily basis. Traffic day and night. Angry drivers, rushing because they did not leave early enough to get somewhere on time. Taking chances and changing lanes to get one car closer to their destination.

After so many years living in that environment, my system was set for early departures to get to work or appointments a little early. I do not like being late, even to social events. I lived around people who did not attempt to keep appointments or arrive at a designated time even if it meant other people were being kept waiting. I was one of the people kept waiting as if my time were not important. Even family members would arrive for holiday dinners two hours late.

Early in my Nebraska life I discovered I did not have to leave an hour early to get twenty miles away. It has taken some adjusting to relax here. The first time to sign up to eat at the senior center in this little town I wanted to walk south to the bank eight blocks away to the ATM and then east seven blocks to the center. I gave it a half hour when it actually took fifteen minutes. I laughed inside when I realized that after three years in Nebraska, I sometimes still think in California time.


Hilary said...

But what a treat to know that you have time to spare instead of lost time. It sounds like you indeed made the right move. I'm glad you're making the decisions for what's right for YOU.

CiCi said...

Exactly. Taking care of myself is pretty high on the list these days. Thanks for you insight and encouragement.

Ina in Alaska said...

2 hours late for a family holiday dinner is totally unacceptable!!

Anchorage drivers are pretty rude too, in my opinion. And on ice & snow, not a good idea.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

It sounds heavenly. I am lucky I don't have to leave the house and deal with that traffic. I do it on Tuesdays for my bowling and it's crazy on these roads! We moved 5 years ago so my husband would be only 9 miles from work and that has been a huge blessing for him.

Jeni said...

I can relate to that! One thing that has not changed a whit since I moved back to the rural hills of PA is the attitude that exists over around the university about those of us who choose to live out in the boondocks but would often seek work in or around the university with respect to the distance and time element involved with that commute. People over there would frequently ask why I would want to drive so far to work. My response was that it would take me 45 minutes to drive the 30 plus miles here whereas in D.C. traffic, it would take me well over an hour to drive a mere 10 miles from my apartment to the office in the city! So, you tell me which is the better alternative then?

Maggie May said...

Your life now sounds so much better and I am pleased for you.
Being a punctual person myself I also find peoples' extreme lateness hard to understand.
Thanks for your visit that I much appreciated.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

bill lisleman said...

I do believe the congested traffic force us to be bad drivers. You build up so much frustration sitting trapped in traffic. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

Stickup Artist said...

Being from the east coast, I was expecting California to be laid back. I soon realized that it is just as stressful here as it is in New York City. At least back there, you could usually walk to work or hop a subway. I have been in traffic jams that were so bad, I actually cried. I'm glad you are in a more relaxed environment.

CiCi said...

Ina, that is what I said. Whether the holiday gathering was at my house or another relative's house, if any family members were over an hour late, I insisted we all proceed with the big dinner and enjoy ourselves instead of snacking ourselves into oblivion while waiting for rude late comers.

Debby, sounds like you your husband compromised well with your move to where you live now. Having a shorter commute to work would indeed be a big help for your husband.

Jeni, of course a shorter drive and less traffic sounds much more palatable than the hour drive to get ten minutes away.

Maggie, It is funny that I do not wear a watch and am not interested in time, but it is important to be somewhere a little early with my book ready to read while I wait.

bill, it is pretty scary how the pent up anger changes some drivers into ferocious maniacs behind the wheel.

stickup artist, I lived in five different states as an adult and when I returned to California, the traffic was the worst welcome back of all.

terri said...

Old habits die hard, especially ones that have become so ingrained.

I can't imagine showing up two hours late to a family dinner. That is so rude and inconsiderate!

I'm glad you're finding a chance to relax these days. No one needs the kind of stress you described in California.

Momma Fargo said...

Oy. California time is similar to the construction time I have to deal with in Wyoming. Leave an hour early to get 20 miles. Beat me.

Cinner said...

Hi CiCi, I love your new blog and have read right from the start. I am so glad your in the place you are in. I can just see you gardening, and painting wow. I picked up my brushes the other night the first time in a long time. Can't wait to see some of your work. The photo of the traffic is enough to send me back to the farm, although I have to admit even in our city the traffic has gotten worse over the last few years. I wish you every success and so nice to meet you. lol. hugs.

LL Cool Joe said...

I lost your blog address.

I'm caught up in the rush our traffic getting my kids to school, it's not far but I'm always running late, always chopping lanes, always stressed out. I know this cannot be good for me. I am making more and more effort to slow down and avoid stressful situations.

Love your new blog.

KleinsteMotte said...

LOL1 You just gave me a great idea. I became a senior this summer. I think it's time I joined a group and mingled more. Time for some new friends. Thanks:)

R. J. said...

I switched from Firefox to Safari to see if the comment will post.I have been unable to post from Firefox to your comments area. Interesting that Safari will work but Firefox doesn't.

blueviolet said...

But if you're thinking in CA time, you'll always be one step ahead of everyone else. I can only imagine how wonderful it must be to enjoy things at a leisurely, enjoy life to its fullest pace now! :)