"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one. "
~John Lennon


Saturday, January 7, 2012

Children Need Caretakers


An aware parent loves all children he or she interacts with; for you are a caretaker for those moments in time.
--Doc Childre

 A child is not a vessel to be filled, but a lamp to be lit.
--Proverb

Free a child's potential and you will transform him into the world.
--Maria Montessori

Modern cynics and skeptics see no harm in paying those to whom they entrust the minds of their children a smaller wage than is paid to those to whom they entrust the care of their plumbing.
--John F Kennedy
Children are gifts, not a chore. They cannot be ignored or cast aside like old newspapers or used condoms. They are the future of our world. As they are treated is how they will contribute to society when they are grown. If their social understanding is stinted, they will not have the tools to fit in and discover the wonders available to them as adults. How do we get people to understand that if they are not prepared to teach by example and love unconditionally, they must not have children. Does this sound harsh? I am sixty five years old and I am sitting in a place of viewing changes in behaviors and disrespect shown to children by not giving them the chance they deserve to think and decide, and strive to better themselves emotionally and intellectually. The romantic notion to have children is immature and impractical, just as mooning over someone and getting married without much thought or pre-marriage counseling. Most weddings these days are attended by guests who are betting on how long the marriage will last.
Even the bride and groom are using divorce as an option if it does not work out, using divorce as a back up plan as they walk down the aisle. No wonder children do not stand a chance for stability when their parents are so wishy washy. Children are not disposable. They are a precious responsibility.

20 comments:

Ms. A said...

I agree with you on children and marriage. Neither are given enough thought BEFORE deciding on them and both are a huge responsibility.

DJan said...

The biggest problem about having children is how easy it is for some people to get pregnant. I didn't MEAN to get knocked up the first time I tried it. And then I had to get married, and I didn't want to. But that was the sixties...

I am ashamed of the horrible childhood my son was exposed to. You are so right.

CiCi said...

Tomorrow is my son's birthday, so children are on my mind this week.

Ms.A, I was one of the people who rushed into marriage with no thought to the seriousness of it.

DJan, I too regret the life of constant changes I exposed my kids to. But I forgive myself my ignorance and my kids know I love them.

R. J. said...

I agree that parenthood is a 24/7 responsibility that many don't understand when they jump into the situation. It shouldn't be perceived like getting a pet and dropping it off at an animal shelter two months later when it becomes obvious that it is a lot of work. Even if we plan to be the best parents, we all make mistakes. I like your last conclusion to forgive ourselves of our mistakes and make sure they know we love them even when we mess up. It seems worthy of consideration that most people have a hard time growing up, and many are stronger for having the experience of hardships. Perhaps people who have an easy time in life aren't as strong, or sensitive or accomplished, or even appreciative. Nature or nurture, a good debate. I've yet to meet that person who has had a perfect life.

Anne H said...

Its like the best-selling diet books are written by people who are athletes and fitness gurus... not even doctors.... MUCH LESS people who never were overweight to start.

CiCi said...

R.J., children are exquisite, all of them. I did not know how I would feel to be a mom but I was over the moon when I became a mother. Mistakes and all, I loved raising my children. And hey, I am still growing up myself. Your comment shows you have an understanding of the human heart and mind.

Anne, truly, we don't know how to parent until we are doing the job. Like you say in your comment, I dislike reading something written by someone who has not experienced what they are writing about.

BragonDorn said...

Thanks for getting the word out! I hope this improves a child's life somewhere.

"Abby" said...

So true CiCi. This is one of my big passions/peeves. There are some truly bad BAD parents out there.

bill lisleman said...

DJan touch on something related to what came to mind when I read this. First off you sound cynical about marriage. My second marriage has been much better than my first. You are correct about taking it seriously but I doubt the "guests who are betting on how long the marriage will last" are very many. But the idea that DJan touch on is the change to society caused by the "pill". Since the beginning of mankind we didn't control reproduction like we try to do today. Sure I promote everyone to be safe and think about their actions but I also realize that emotions can overpower the thinking part of your mind. I believe adoption is an underused option.
Thanks for the thought provoking post.

Unknown Mami said...

I think you are right. The first quote is my favorite.

terri said...

You are so right. I see children in this world who have been tainted by their parents. They are distrusting of others and have no faith in themselves. You hear it so often ... you need a license to drive a car, but anyone who's able gets to have a child. This is so wrong. Something needs to change.

Hilary said...

So true. Nothing in my life was as important to me as raising my kids. That was the one thing I felt I've done right. Not always.. not without numerous mistakes, of course but their well being was always uppermost in my mind. In the end, no matter the outcome we'd all like to be able to say that we did the best that would could at that time.

CiCi said...

BragonDorn, I do too. I wished for help when I was a kid and I have a big heart for kids' safety and well being.

Abby, I am in the same club that you are in promoting the importance of treating children well.

bill, yes I am probably cynical about marriage. It doesn't seem to be the deep spiritual commitment it was probably meant to be. Legally binding is not the same thing as lovingly and freely 100% committing.

Mami, I like that quote too; that is why is first on the list of quotes.

terri, children growing up with no faith in themselves end up floundering as adults and are unable to be the parents to their own children to help them be healthy and happy and safe.

Hilary, what I have learned of you over the years is how important your children are to you. You have a good outlook and a sensible philosophy regarding family.

Maggie May said...

Everything you say is true and it seems such a waste of money to pay for a big wedding that normally crashes after a while. If children have been created, then it is all the more tragic.
Some seem to come out of it unscathed though.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Shrinky said...

And hard bloomin' work, too! Raising kids requires equal amounts of love and sacrifice - no one promises it will be easy - it's a COMMITMENT, once made, that must last forever. As you say, we show by example, if we raise our children carelessly, selfish to their needs, then how can we possiblly expect them to grow into undamaged, productive - and dare I say - giving members of our society?

Yes, there are exceptions (you are a shining example of one, dear CiCi), but I am so sick and tired of how we appear to so easily excuse and tolerate bad parenting in our society. I truly believe it is one of the worst crimes anyone can commit.

Brian Miller said...

oh i know this one all too well...i had to take a child from their family this week which is never easy or fun but there comes a point where it is deemed for the good of both parties...it always hits me like a sucker punch though...

Joanna Jenkins said...

Wow CiCi... I've actually said the words "children are not disposable" this weekend! We are definitely on the same wavelength on this subject. Bad parenting is not okay and it saddens me at how casual so many parents seen to take the lifelong responsibility. Big sigh.

Hope your weekend has been enjoyable. xo jj

Rock Chef said...

Well said!

And that Kennedy quote is spot on!

As soon as we had children they became the centre of our world. Many of our friends did not understand this, but our children are the better for it.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I'm glad you said that. I have always felt like my children were a gift, a blessing, and mine to treasure and hold dear while in my care. I never took those precious kids for granted. Every day was precious, still is.

susan said...

Today I was in a craft store and kept overhearing (not hard since she was so loud) this mother berating and bullying her 2 small children repeatedly. I wanted to tell her how she was damaging their little spirits but I was afraid of what her reaction would be towards me. So since I didn't have the courage to speak to her myself, I will pray for her and her children. For the mom that she finds patience and understanding and peace to be the mother that her children need, and for the children that they grow to be strong and kind and secure in spite of what they have been told.