This article was in the online Ladies Home Journal this week. The second sentence was the reason I continued reading. I have been having some issues with couplehood, definitely having issues there. My divorce was final in April. That makes me Single.
According to Dr Michael Broder, "being happily single boils down in part to how you regard solitude."
"People who are not happily single turn
solitude into loneliness," Broder says.
Dr Broder mentions a "soulmate syndrome." I admit to wanting to find my soul mate. Happily, I did. Unhappily, his bipolar illness was too unhealthy for me.
Broder says "We all know initial passion is delicious, but after it dies away, it's all about staying power and what it takes to make things work. The trick is to choose well so you're putting energy into staying with a suitable situation."
"If you're not painfully single and you're putting energy into other things and not worrying about meeting someone, there's no need to go on a campaign to increase your chances."
Meeting someone is the last thing on my mind. Maybe that will be the state of mind and heart for me for the rest of my life. It feels great to be happy living my own life, busy helping others and meeting new people as well as finding new activities of interest. Do I get lonely? Actually, no. If I want to be with someone there are many friends to call upon who enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs. Most of my life has been with husband or children or work, always people around. I find myself actually blocking out some time just for me these days. Putzing around with my plants indoors and outside, reading, taking photos, being in the moment, listening to music or watching a movie, so many things I enjoy and appreciate.
Reading the article validates why I am feeling peace and calm. I am happy being me in my life. Instead of being suspicious of the happiness, I embrace it. It is real and it is healthy.