"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one. "
~John Lennon


Sunday, June 16, 2013

Apartment Living

He helped his mother move out of her apartment and then he and his wife and two year old moved into the almost empty apartment for a month of free living.

The noises from the apartment suggested they were chronic fighters. Screaming and yelling and sounds of bodies pushed (or thrown) against the wall.

They would go outside the apartment building and chain smoke on the back steps, leaving hundreds of cigarette butts on the landing and the surrounding area.  The two year old showed signs of being a troubled child, constantly whining, crying, and hitting and kicking his parents.

One night after another loud fight, the mother brought the child and a suitcase out their car. As she was fastening the child into the toddler seat, her husband ran up to her and tried getting her to talk to him, saying he couldn't live without her and how could she leave after all he had done for her. She buckled in the child, got into the drivers seat, and drove off. The man went back in the apartment.

Within five minutes, the woman was back in the parking spot. She left the child in his seat in the car, and she went back to the apartment, pounding on the door, saying to let her in, that she wanted the cell phone. He unlocked the door, she went in, and the door closed. Then shouting and more sounds of hitting and being thrown up against the wall and the inside door, with her screaming that she wanted the cell phone, where was the cell phone. It was hard to tell which one was on the receiving end of the physical abuse. All this time the child was out in the car.

After twenty minutes the fighting ended. He walked his wife to their car, he retrieved the suitcase, she got the child out of the seat, they all three walked into the apartment where things were "normal" for a day.

The apartment was across the hall from mine and the car was parked in front of my window. I was exhausted just being a spectator. I worried about the child being left alone in the car and I cringed at the sounds of things being thrown, especially when some sounds were clearly a person being hit and pushed.

I think about this family occasionally and know that there are many families like this one.  Children being raised by troubled adults who have no idea how to raise children. What a vicious cycle. Breaking that chain is more than difficult.

Have you been around situations like this?

14 comments:

Ms. A said...

I have been around it, both personally and as a witness to it.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

That was so painful to read! I haven't been exposed to that situation (although I'm sure it goes on in families I don't expect). I would be all types of worried and sick to my stomach over that.

Brian Miller said...

yes i have...its a harsh reality...i was walking up to an apartment building once for a counseling session and a pumpkin flew down the stairs exploding ont he wall behind the fleeing dad...i have plenty of heart breaking stories of domestic violence and kids caught in the middle of it...ugh....

Manju Modiyani said...

I have been living in an apartment set up ever since I was born. Actually in India, people are very conservative, and women are extremely patient. They don't let it come out of their doors. There could be such troubled families around me..but honestly I never saw anything like you described..

I think every kind of people exist everywhere..some can be seen..some of them stay concealed. :)

DJan said...

Yes, I did, and I had one not long ago just below me. It makes me eternally thankful for the childhood I was blessed with, CiCi.

Abby said...

That had to be difficult to witness. I've seen similar and then I go back and forth. Do I call someone? Who? Should I just "mind my own business"?

Like DJan says, this kind of thing helps me to be so grateful for my own childhood.

Stephen Hayes said...

Thankfully no, I haven't experienced this. But my wife and son both work for our local police department so I hear all about scenes such as the one you describe. Such a tragedy for the kids.

Rock Chef said...

Yes, we had neighbours like this for a while, but they worked things in a way that make it impossible and pointless for anyone to try to intervene. We felt sorry for the kids.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Thank god, I have never has a situation that awful and heartbreaking. Big sigh. That poor child.
xo jj

Lisa said...

when I first started married life, and living in an apartment, I cooedk using the grinding stone! must have not heard of the blender.

I imagine its would be worrisome to continuously be in it CiCi.

Hilary said...

Yes, for a year. We had neighbours who were two young couples with young babies born a week apart from one another. This was a regular occurrence .. the beatings, horrible language and perpetual threats. Ugly and so sad.

terri said...

It makes me feel awful to read things like this. I know it happens all of the time. It's just so much more troubling when there's a child involved.

I've been fortunate. I've not had to live near any such troubled families. But my sister lives next door to one. The children are neglected and no amount of calls to the authorities makes any difference.

Unknown Mami said...

It's very sad and truly disturbing.

Shammickite said...

The children are the victims of a poisonous relationship like this, and often carry it forward to their own adult lives. So sad.