My whole life was spent trying to fit in by doing things I didn't even like, just to be part of something. I did not like drinking; I drank but just enough to fit in with the people I hung out with. I truly disliked the taste. I waited until my thirties to experiment with marijuana. After two years trying it occasionally, I removed it from my life. I smoked cigarettes because my first husband smoked and then one day in 1986 I asked myself what the hell was I doing, I did not like the taste. See, taste again. My senses have been trying to make me aware of what is good for me and in a stupor I stumbled along to fit in.
Then in 1985 I met a guy who was so much like me. He did not watch TV, he did not smoke, he used his computer for information, he was a voracious reader, he didn't just enjoy music as I did, he composed music. I found my home. As the years progressed, we found more things in common. And the latest change was to kick wheat out of our lives.
And then it was all over in an instant. The second he made love to his mania instead of me, he left me, left our marriage, and eventually left our home and found a new life with few, if any, responsibilities. We are now nothing alike. I still have standards and have worked hard to be a strong, loving, clear thinking woman. I believe in being faithful and honorable and truthful and I know I am able to be these things and still be fun loving and young at heart.
So now I stand naked in front of my mirror (so to speak) and ask, how did I get back to this place? I am different; I don't watch TV, I don't do facebook or twitter, I don't drink or do drugs, and I don't eat anything with wheat or grains in it. Do I sound dull? No fun? I am a fairly serious person but I so enjoy humor and laughter.
There has to be a reason I am still in this body on this earth in this situation. There must be more to learn and much I can contribute. If this sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself, that is a small part of it. I have always been able to get through the rough times, learn what I can from them, re-evaluate my situation, and move forward with an open mind and willing heart. I will not become a bitter, frosty, isolated older woman. I accept who I am, I like who I am, I don't have to fit like a glove in the community; I fit like a loose jacket in the community and comfortable in my own skin.
Graphic found on Google.