"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one. "
~John Lennon


Monday, March 19, 2012

Single But Not Separate










 Single is not a dirty word
Table for one is justifiable
Dinner and a book are adequate

Liking my own company
Having time to ponder and reflect
Finding varied interests

No emotion based responses
Making decisions based on reason
Maturing gracefully

Alone but not lonely

29 comments:

Ms. A said...

I get along with me, better than anyone else!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I require lots and lots of alone time per day. I've always craved that - a solitary soul. My son is the same way. I'm glad you're finding a peace in this.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

wait, is your dude around, is he OK?

DJan said...

What a lovely picture. It tells the story of a person well loved and taken care of... by yourself. Honored and cherished, in solitude. Lovely, CiCi!

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

Shadowthorne @ Ramzu Zahini said...

Some people are born loners. Like me :P
Used to think that people would be in my way to anything I want to reach.

But I must agree with DJan. There is a difference.

Even evil darklords get lonely too :)

Shadowthorne @ Ramzu Zahini said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristina P. said...

I am so sorry to hear the latest, my friend. Hang in there!! Single but not alone.

Jeni said...

The key to being able to enjoying your own company is being comfortable within your own skin! Took me a long, long time to acquire that ability and there are still days when it escapes me, but we're all entitled to "slips" here and there, aren't we? Of course, being comfortable within one's own skin is a valuable asset to have in any kind of relationship too so it works well all the way around.

Brian Miller said...

i think that single is def not a bad word or world at all...i think our lives are in big part what we make of it...

Stickup Artist said...

Sorry, I made a typo. I'll go again...

Looking back, I realize I made some poor decisions when I was bored and/or didn't want to be alone. It is a common mistake to depend heavily on the "outside" to get one's needs met. In my humble opinion, self-reliance and self-love are not selfish goals, but are the building blocks of a satisfying life whether alone or in a relationship. Another excellent post!

CiCi said...

Ms.A, actually that speaks volumes to me about your sense of self. Good for you.

Liz, I have had little alone time in my life. Discovering that time by myself is calm and can also be productive is a blessing right now.

Gary, no and no.

DJan, it is helpful to see things through your eyes. Thanks.

Shadowthorne, I know you are a loner and happy in your own skin. You had to learn that and I admire that you did.

Kristina, thank you. You are very kind.

CiCi said...

Jeni, Six months ago I was lonely. Sad. In order to be healthy I had several conversations with myself and changed my isolated life. The friends who I met and can count on now are a gift.

Brian, being single is like being my own person but not necessarily selfish. I have time for some of my own endeavors and I am more forgiving of myself too.

Stickup Artist, looking outside myself to get validation is a thing of the past. I am able to look myself in the mirror, see the real me, forgive the mistakes and like who I am becoming. What a change from a year ago.

Akannie said...

I have always and probably will always...need alone time. I do very well on my own and LOVE going out to eat by myself. A good meal, a good book...and nobody chatting along about inane subjects that I could care less about.

Ain't I weird? lol People always tell me I am...

Stephen Hayes said...

Not liking to dine out alone must be a female thing. When I dine out alone it doesn't bother me at all. All that bread and butter just for me!

bill lisleman said...

although we are virtual your blogging friends are here with you. I was just reading about a growing company that caters to women only traveling. There are has been a big increase in women only travel. Yes I know that's not the same as being single but the point is there are more and more single adults. all the best.

LL Cool Joe said...

My mother-in-law lost her husband 2 years ago, and I actually think she's enjoying this time to be totally selfish and only look after herself. She keeps very busy, and goes on solo holidays etc.

terri said...

Just goes to show that no matter what is going on in your life, there's always something to be learned if we're open to it. You seem to be. It's good to see that you are discovering something wonderful about the person you are and the strengths you possess.

Abby said...

You've got the right attitude CiCi.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You're doing a great job, CiCi. I admire your attitude and positive outlook.
xo jj

Shrinky said...

I am glad you are in a good place right now, CiCi, you appear to have struck a happy balance. Yes, we are social creatures, but equally, living alone with a calm, tranquil and satisfying life far, far outweighs sharing it in a turbulent and stressful way, with another who often sucks the life from your day.

I have a really good feeling things are are only going to get even better and better for you, dear lady!

CiCi said...

Akannie, I so admire women who enjoy their alone time and don't need people to bring cheer to their lives.
I have been alone so little in my life that it is a new experience. There are many possibilities and I have been trying new projects and using my imagination and enjoying it.

Stephen, since restaurants don't have gluten free bread with that good butter, I don't eat the bread anyway. I think there is something in the training of my generation about dining alone being a bad sign.

Bill, good idea about the women grouping together for travels. In my town there are many widows. Our Friday morning Needlers club is a great time for the women to chat while we work on our projects. I will write a post about it soon. And I appreciate your kind words about online friends.

Joey, I have been enjoying the occasional reference to your mother-in-law in your blog and happy for her determination to live life fully and happily since her husband passed away.

Terri, it still does surprise me to see that I am doing okay, better than okay.

Abby, thanks for the nod my friend.

Joanna, you know how far I have come. Thank you for your encouragement.

Shrinky, that is a good way to put it: a happy balance. You know what turbulence is as you learned as a child, so you also know how important peace is.

Maggie May said...

Thats a good place to be.
Please yourself...... spoil yourself........ no one to answer to.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Anne H said...

Getting to know ourselves! The one person who will never abandon us or do us wrong!

Gary's third pottery blog said...

ah, Cici, i don't know how I missed it, but I am sorry for your troubles and good job moving on.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I love your determination. Keeping you in my prayers.

oceangirl said...

Alone does not mean lonely although I've hated it when people refer to me as a single Mom! :)

Yousei Hime said...

Perfectly fitting my life. I'm with Ms. A, better off by myself, especially these days. Nicely written and very much enjoyed. :)

Cheryl said...

I have been away from blogging for some time, am hoping you are doing well and that all is going along smoothly and happily for you!

Mrs4444 said...

I'm very happy for you, CiCi.

Beautiful table...