"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one. "
~John Lennon


Friday, November 16, 2012

Deal With It

The apartments I live in are HUD subsidized senior apartments. I live in an end unit. There are 16 units, small complex, and I am in #15. Been here six months now. The best thing about these places is the low rent. When I say LOW RENT, I mean really low. Because I don't have to pay gas, water, trash, it is like having twice as much money each month. 

A few weeks ago a woman moved into #16. It has been empty since I moved in. This woman keeps her door open as do three other people in this building. There are 8 units in each building and now 4 of them keep their doors open in my building and their radios and TVs on high volume.  

When I walk out my door, the woman across from me rushes to her door to talk to me. When I take out the trash, there she is. If I go out and stop to lock my place because I am going out for awhile, there she is. All the while her TV is blaring. Why can't she close her friggin' door? Maybe it annoying to me particularly because I don't have a TV, am not exposed to all the noise and confusion and when it is forced on me, it is irritating. 

Her son-in-law is our Saturday mailperson, and he was helping at bingo one night a month ago, and told us she was moving in here, and told us not to tell her when he comes to deliver mail or she will find something for him to do. I didn't appreciate how true that was until she moved in here. This woman is needy. She knocks on peoples doors to ask for help all the time. Like, her refrigerator was too cold, would they adjust it for her. She wanted a flashlight. Couldn't find hers. Do I sound cranky? I guess I am. I miss the quiet on this end of the building. If I hooked up my huge speakers and listened to hard rock, the folks here would have a cow. So I just wear my headphones to watch Netflix or listen to music. I can't walk all over the place though. Maybe I need wireless headphones. Ha.

Writing this post is not meant to be a complaint, it is written to remind me that there are things in life I have to either change or adjust to, and how I go about doing that shows me what kind of person I am. I never did well in an environment where I had to listen to others on the phone or in group situations with several people talking at once. It was a struggle when I worked in office situations with cubicles for work spaces. Loud voices in other "cubies" would drown out the phone voices in my cubicle and give me a headache. I didn't last long in those jobs. I would quit, find something better, move on. 

So this morning, as it is every morning, when I wake up and start making my coffee, I hear the newest neighbor on the phone, her door wide open, and remember that she is lonely. She wants attention. Each person who walks past her door is accosted. She may settle down some day after she has been here long enough. I want to remind myself what it is like to be new in town, new in an apartment building with all new residents. I am sorry to say that I cannot bring myself to befriend this woman, she is annoying to me, needy, demanding, and manipulating. I have already seen enough to have several red flags raised, which for me means I stay away from that kind of personality for my own good health.  Whew, there, got that off my chest.  I am in acceptance of the new situation and am able to retain my sanity and keep my life busy and happy. 

14 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Neighbours can completely spoil a perfect home. I've experienced it more than once. Couldn't you ask her to close her door because the noise from her tv is disturbing you?

Ms. A said...

I agree with LL. I'm afraid I would HAVE to say something, I know it would drive me nuts to be forced to endure something like that. Is there a noise ordinance?

Good luck!

Rock Chef said...

I would have to say something, to be honest. That sort of thing can really get to you...

DJan said...

You are right not to befriend her. You would have no peace at all. I would talk to the manager. She must be bothering other people, too, and having it come from someone other than a fellow neighbor would carry more weight. We have to deal with our neighbors, too, and sometimes it can be very stressful.

Jeanie said...

I think DJan's suggestion is a very good one. A request coming from the manager would be better than a complaint from you. It is sad that she seems so lonely, but you are smart to know that you are not the answer to her loneliness.

Stephen Hayes said...

The only problem I've had with a neighbor was one old woman who thought her grandson walked on water. Whenever I saw her she managed to get her grandson into the conversation within three seconds. That poor kid!

Hilary said...

I like the suggestion of speaking with management. Perhaps there could be a rule about front doors must be closed if nobody is walking through them at the moment.. ;)

Abby said...

Sounds really annoying. Really. I agree with the others who say that you should say something - either to her or to the management. But I love your empathy!

Unknown Mami said...

I totally feel you on this. She is lonely and needy, but that does not mean you need to keep her company or fulfill her needs. Obviously, you already know that. It's awful to say, but some people really do suck the life out of you and are not worth the effort. They will take and take and take. It's unfortunate that some people do not appreciate time alone and in their loneliness, they end up pushing others away.

Brian Miller said...

smiles...stay sane...its the bane and blessing of communal living....i think it important to set the boundaries but also allow that she is someone just like you as well...

Cinner said...

CiCi I had not realized that you had moved. I think I would have to say something....but what I don't know. I hope it all works out for you. It is nice you have more money to spare though. sounds like your keeping yourself busy,...hugs.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I yiyi... That's a tough one, CiCi. I am so sorry. The noise and pestering would drive me crazy.

You are a good soul and very kind. I'm not sure how I would handle this other than to try to be respectful and move past as quickly as possible.

xoxox jj

terri said...

You have a healthy approach to an annoying situation. Too many people see a person with bad habits and write them off instead of realizing there may be a reason for the bad behavior. It's good that you know your own boundaries, though, even while willing to give her some leeway.

Mrs4444 said...

Maybe she needs to be shown the "Community Room," assuming your building has one. Good luck with this! :)